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Summary: REALLY GOOD BOOK
Comment: Very good book - sometimes heart wrenching because it's an actual person going through an actual divorce. Very good and I recommend this book.
Customer Rating:
Summary: What comes around goes around?
Comment: I loved "Split," but wondered whether anyone else noticed that in Finnamore's first memoir -- scratch that, novel -- "Otherwise Engaged," Finnamore gloats about stealing her fiance from another woman with whom he's living when he meets Finnamore. ("Otherwise Engaged" is technically fiction, but it is transparently autobiographical; the dates, ages, geographical locations, and occupations of the protagonists line up neatly with those of "Split.") So, how come no one seems to have asked the obvious question: Didn't you see it coming? Your ex was cheating on your predecessor when he started seeing you; surely you must have been aware that he was a poor fidelity candidate? Why is "Split" so completely silent on the topic of whether you feel, in retrospect, any remorse for inflicting on another woman the horrible pain that Thing Woman inflicted on you? After all, in "O.E.," you actually knew that he was already in a committed relationship when you decided to make a play for him. How can you plead for sympathy when you suffer from similarly callous behavior by another woman?
Customer Rating:
Summary: A Familiar Story?
Comment: Suzanne Finnamore tells a story we've all heard before; her husband deserts her and their young son after a few years of marriage for the charms of another woman. So what makes Ms. Finnamore's account any different from the dozens you've heard in your lifetime? For certain, Finnamore's story is a sad one. However, her therapeutic memoir is loaded with hilarious anecdotes, honed by a sharp wit, which will bring a smile to you face and pain to your heart. Of particular interest is her ability to turn a phrase, create an impactful metaphor or simile and, most importantly, tell a compelling story. As I made my way through "Split," I kept thinking how interesting it would be to read her ex-husband's account of the same situation. Hmmm.
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Summary: Brilliant look at divorce and the grieving process
Comment: In her Anger section (Stage II) she says, "The snag about marriage is, it isn't worth the divorce. My new doctrine is, never marry. I won't ever again. It is absolute swill. It's not just my marriage. It's all marriages except a handful. Marriage is a conspiracy from Tiffany's, florists, the diamond industry, and Christian fundamentalists. The only thing good about it is the diamond ring, the wedding gifts, and the honeymoon. A, (the name she gives her son in the book) I could have gotten anywhere. I could have gotten A from a turkey baster and a lovely gay man with a college education and a pleasant disposition. IF ONLY I'D HAD THAT MUCH SENSE AT THE TIME. I'm sending turkey basters to all my single girlfriends, with holly tassels, for Christmas."
In Bargaining (Stage III) she says, "Sorry is the two-dollar bill of words. It's worth something, but in the end it's ridiculous, a souvenir at best."
Section IV: Grief, she says, "Grief, I understand with icy clarity, is simply information I allow myself to know."
And she says this, when wondering what she might say to her son one day when he asks about divorce: "I will say: 'You enter into - well. You enter into a kind of madness. You will make discoveries, not all of them happy. And the surprises are not staggered or regularly spaced, they are coming at you at light-speed, all at once, and you have to continue. You don't get to stop and say, I'll pick this all up in a year or so, when it isn't so difficult or painful or scary. When I'm ready. No no no. You have to go back in daily, until. Until it passes, or something happens to lessen its dark brilliance. you never know when this will be. You just have to keep meeting it. And gradually it disperses, leaving a small tear in your heart. A little hole, an aperture in you, as in a camera lens which, in the right light, can be perceived and accepted as a perspective-enhancing hole.'"
You don't have to be divorced, almost divorced, thinking about divorce, or even know someone getting divorced, to appreciate this book - it's about grief. And aren't we all grieving something, or someone? Or both?
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Summary: With sadness, a hopefulness
Comment: In any break-up, especially one precipitted by deception, one would excuse any level of bitterness. Yet, Finnamore manages the difficult balance of anger, humor, hurt and bewilderment. She gives hope to those in the same unfortunate situation.
Plus, I loved imagining the second wife's realization that she snagged a man who will never seemingly stop cheating.
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