Editorial Reviews:
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Toddlers can drive you bonkers…so adorable and fun one minute…so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of “nos” and “don’ts” into “yeses” and hugs…if you know how to speak your toddler’s language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize…cavemen.
Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of “evolutionary” growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind’s journey to civilization:
• The “Charming Chimp-Child” (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of “monkey see monkey do.”
• The “Knee-High Neanderthal” (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being “no” and “mine.”
• The “Clever Caveman” (24 to 36 months):
Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.
• The “Versatile Villager” (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.
To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques:
1) The “fast food” rule—restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;
2) The four-step rule—using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your
irate Stone-Ager be happy again.
Once you’ve mastered “toddler-ese,” you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child’s development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through “gossiping,” and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years—including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking — can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child.
From the Hardcover edition.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:  
Summary: Very disappointing.
Comment: I was so excited about the title of this book but I was terribly disappointed once I began reading. I really could not get past the repeated references to monkey-cave-whatever children. I know I am raising a human being! My child is not "evolving." She is growing and learning. I took this right back to the store.
Better books to read: "Positive Discipline in the First Years", "The First Three Years of Life", and "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child."
Customer Rating:
Summary: Great gift
Comment: Gave this to my daughter who has a 2 year old. Seems to be working well. She read the happiest baby on the block which I love to give as a gift to new mothers.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Demeaning to Children
Comment: I admit I've not read the book, so take that as you will. However, after reading all the reviews positive and negative, all the information on this book provided by this site and the first page option, I have come to the conclusion that this book will help a small group of people, but on the whole is not useful. I am almost saddened to see so many positive reviews advocating that one lock their child in their room at night to make them sleep on their own. In the same breath this man insists that we speak "toddler-ese" because the child won't understand more? How will a being that doesn't understand more than primitive language (supposedly) understand the concept of being locked in their room, albeit "lovingly".
I also find fault in the idea that one should "talk like a cave man" to a toddler because that's what they will understand. From day one we didn't do baby talk, we didn't shorten words or sentences for ease. We just spoke to her. Normally using proper grammar. At 15 months old her vocabulary was reaching over 150 words. Now, my daughter is almost 3 and is quite articulate. I've never once in her life hear her say, "Kiara need milk". It's always "Mommy, I need some milk." (Please is optional, but we're getting there.) I feel that the cave-man talk stunts their growth and understanding of the way people are to talk and interact with one another. It supports the laziness that we're finding in our children's studies as evidenced by flagging test scores and general apathy regarding education. Give your child the tools to express themselves rather than dumbing down the world. People underestimate the intelligence of babies/toddlers far too much. Quite sad, really, as children are amazing and incredible creatures.
Tantrums happen. Kids want to cuddle before bed. The lack of these things doesn't necessarily make them "happy" nor does the inclusion of these "stumbling blocks" indicate an "unhappy child".
This book is not for our family.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Most kids love unusual
Comment: It felt unusual to do what the author suggests, but every child in my family & day care responded/responds so well to the ideas presented. Children are not little adults, their brains work differently. The adult who assumes the concepts in the book won't work & who therefore practice with obvious cinicism are going to have trouble. Give yourself & the child a fair chance with the suggestions made in this book & the rewards will be awesome!
Customer Rating:
Summary: so-so
Comment: It wasn't the wonderful, magical cure that I had heard about. My toddler was no happier with me acting like a "cave man" than she was with me acting like myself. It is informative and give you some good info on reflecting feelings back to children, but overall, there isn't much there that most of us do not already know.
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